


Half Alive

by 2018fordfocus



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Quite slow, Sad Harry, Slow Burn, harry has a baby sister
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 18:53:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25890133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2018fordfocus/pseuds/2018fordfocus
Summary: Harry’s mom dies, leaving him and his sister orphans, and the Pressman family takes them in.
Relationships: Harry Bingham/Allie Pressman
Comments: 3
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first The Society fic. Hope you enjoy!

Karen Bingham died in a car crash. She lost control and her car hit the median, ejecting her body and mangling her face enough that they have to find her ID to prove that it’s her. 

Her funeral is attended by almost everyone in town. Harry and Katie sit in the front row, spend the entire wake being told sorry by the adults. Most of the sympathy goes towards Katie. Most adults don’t pay attention to Harry. Some of his friends awkwardly give him their condolences, Some even go for hugs. Harry doesn't really react, just says thanks or loosely wraps an arm around the other person’s body. 

His emotions return that night, and he grabs a bottle of vodka and retreats to his bedroom so that Katie doesn’t see. 

The next morning, there’s a knock at the door, and Harry is too hungover to get out of bed, so Katie opens the door. Jim and Amanda Pressman are standing at the door. 

“Hi sweetie,” Amanda says, loud enough to be heard in Harry’s room. He rolls his eyes and grabs a pillow to put over his head. 

“Where’s Harry?” Amanda asks. 

A few seconds later, Harry hears people walking up the stairs, then his door is opened. He groans and turns over, holding the pillow tighter.

“Harry,” Amanda says as she sits down at the edge of his bed. “You okay? You awake?”

He’s awake. That’s true.

The other part of that statement is not. 

“Sweetie, we were thinking-” she says, then pauses. Harry doesn’t move. 

“We’d like to take you guys under our wing.”

Harry opens his eyes. He turns over, removes the pillow from his face. 

“What do you mean,” he asks, voice croaky.

“Jim and I,” Amanda says. “Want to take care of you and Katie. You can move into our house, live there, we’ll feed you, help you with your homework-”

“I already finished school,” Harry says.

“Well, that part was directed more towards Katie,” she says, chuckling, then stops when he doesn’t laugh. 

“Listen, we know it’s hard for you right now, and we think this will be a way to help you-”

“I don’t fucking need any help,” Harry exclaims, voice breaking a little. “I don’t need your fucking pity!”

Amanda frowns, then stands up, pats his leg, then leaves the room, shutting the door behind her. 

Harry’s mom never did that. 

Harry screams and cries, crashes, stays in bed for another eight hours until Katie cautiously enters his room to ask if he wants any microwave mac and cheese. 

“It’s kinda watery, but it still tastes good,” she says, offering the bowl. 

Harry sits up, looks at the bowl, at her. “Is that the only thing you have to eat?”

“No,” she answers. “We have granola bars. And cereal.”

She holds the bowl out one last time, and he shakes his head no, so she leaves. 

The next day, he calls Amanda Pressman and asks if her offer is still open. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Binghams move in with the Pressmans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now featuring ~Harry’s depression~!

“Here’s the kitchen, and the living room,” Amanda says. “There’s a bathroom, and the laundry room, and your rooms are upstairs.”

She starts climbing the stairs, and Harry and Katie follow, suitcases and backpacks in hand. The Pressmans’ house is very...houselike. The furniture looks like it’s from Rooms To Go. Pictures and knick knacks are on every end table and on the mantle. There’a a blanket on the couch and another one bunched up on the floor. Jim’s glasses are on the counter, along with a few bananas and a potato. It looks lived in. Like a house should be.

“Here you go,” Amanda says, gesturing to a room. Katie thanks her and goes into the room, setting her stuff down on the bed. 

“And your room is right there,” says Amanda, pointing to the room down the hall. 

“Thanks,” Harry says blankly, then turns and starts walking to the room. He’s hungover as hell and still hasn’t mastered the art of acting normal while in this state, but he hopes others think it’s because he’s sad. 

He is, after all. He has every reason to be. His mom fucking died a week ago. His only living parent since his dad decided to get drunk and make his car kiss a tree.

“Mom,” a voice says, and Harry turns around to see Allie standing there. She eyes Harry, sees him holding a suitcase, looks back up at her mom. “Mom, what’s going on?”

“Sweetie,” Amanda says. Harry recognizes that she called him the same thing. “For now, until the court finds a suitable guardian for them, Harry and Katie are going to live with us.”

Allie looks back at Harry. Her arms are crossed, and she has that sullen look that was permanently imprinted on her face from about one year to six months ago. After Cassandra died. 

“Harry, your room is right there,” Amanda says. Harry knows that she and Allie are about to have a “discussion.” AKA Allie being mad, her mom telling her to suck it up and that it’ll be over with soon and she has to be nice to their guests, then Allie grudgingly accepting. Harry has been there numerous times. He sympathizes with Allie. He wouldn’t want to live with him either. 

“Allie, I know you’re not happy about this, but we need to help them out now,” Amanda says. The walls are thin enough that he can hear their conversation. “They’re orphans. They have no one. You’re lucky enough-”

“No mom, I don’t think I’m lucky enough,” Allie interrupts, venom in her tone. “In case you’ve forgotten, my sister last year, and we’ve just gotten back to normal. I don’t want to deal with a rich asshole and his little sister moping around until they go to live with their grandparents or whatever rich people do.”

“Allie!”

“I’m going to my room,” she says, then stomps away and slams the door to her room.

Harry hears Amanda walk down the stairs, then he lays down on the Pressmans’ guest bed and cracks open the pill bottle his mom stored in her medicine cabinet. 

He eats dinner with them that night. Katie tells Jim and Amanda stories about school and softball, while Allie and Harry pick at their food, looking at the table. The food would probably be good if Harry had any appetite. 

After the meal, Harry volunteers to wash the dishes, but Amanda tells him that she can do it by herself, so he goes back to his room. He considers going on his phone to look at social media. Shuts down that idea because he knows that everyone that has ever heard of the Binghams has texted or commented on his posts telling him how sorry they are. He considers unpacking, considering the fact that he hasn’t done that yet. Shuts that idea down. He doesn’t want to unpack. He doesn’t exactly feel welcome in this house. He shouldn’t be here. Allie has made that clear. 

Harry doesn’t belong anywhere. He never felt right in his own house. Never at his beach house. Never at the country club. A common factor in all of those was his mom and dad. They never made him feel wanted. Not past the age of ten anyways. Then his dad died, and he thought that that might make things better. His mom would be free to remarry or be that woman that takes her deceased husband’s inheritance and lives in luxury for the rest of her life. But no, she didn’t change much, just ignored her kids more and acted sad when someone would bring up her husband. As if she hadn’t contributed to his death. 

Harry feels bad for Katie. She never experienced that love that he had when he was younger. When his parents would take him to the beach house and they would catch crabs and get ice cream on the boardwalk, or when they would go to a movie and play a board game afterwards. Then, over time, his parents started hating each other. Katie was born a little bit later, and he doesn’t know if they were staying together for her or him or their reputation or what. He just knows that they would only go to the beach house a few times a year, never see movies as a family, never play board games.

Now he’s a fucking orphan. His mom’s will is being read soon. He’s eighteen, so he technically doesn’t need a guardian, but Katie does, and he wants to know who it is and that she’ll be taken care of. That’s the only thing keeping him from ditching this town. Taking the Maserati and the clothes on his back and fucking off, going to live in Arizona or some shit with a hot girl and a German Shepherd. 

Harry realizes that he hasn’t taken a shower in a few days. He stands up and takes some clothes out of his bag, then walks to the bathroom, a little shaky on his feet. 

Allie walks out of her room and stands in front of the bathroom door, arms crossed. Harry stops a few feet away from her, holds his hands out in a “why are you doing this” gesture. 

“I always shower at seven,” she says. “Always. Find another time.”

She walks into the bathroom and shuts the door. Harry gives it an angry look and turns around, going back to his room for another session of existential thinking and self loathing. The only thing he’s capable of doing these days. 

No, not just these days. Ever since he was ten. At least now he has an excuse. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has a nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, this is basically exposition, the plot will pick up soon.

Harry wakes up the next day and decides to lay in bed, watching game shows on the TV in his room. He hasn’t watched cable TV in such a long time. Commercials are so fucking annoying. 

A few minutes in, he takes out his vape and a pod. It’s not as good as hard drugs but it takes the edge off. Temporarily, at least.

That thought makes him take another hit and lean back to watch whatever stupid show is on TV. 

Harry is in his living room. There’s a Christmas tree in the corner, piles of presents sitting under it. He sits on the couch, wearing his favorite pair of pajamas and holding the tiger he’s had since he was born. His dad has been wanting him to get rid of it, but Harry refuses. 

“I’m leaving,” his dad yells, grabbing his coat off the coat rack and putting on his shoes. 

“What do you want, Bill,” his mom responds.

“I want you to shut up!”

He slams the door. His mom puts a hand to her forehead, paces. Harry knows that she’s pregnant. Probably due in six months. He doesn’t want a sibling. He’s happy not having to share. 

He hears a car skid, then looks outside to see his dad’s Porsche run into a tree, practically split in half from the force of the impact. 

Another car skid, then he turns around, sees his mom’s car hitting the interstate median.

Now Harry is in court, in handcuffs, being tried for the death of Bill and Karen Bingham. Katie sits in the audience, looking at him with her big brown eyes. She holds a plush zebra in her hands.

“Harry,” she asks. “Did you do it?”

Harry opens his eyes with a start. He’s laying on his back in an unfamiliar bed, the TV on and playing something, though the words sound like gibberish.

The Pressmans’ house. He’s at the Pressmans’ house. He’s not on trial. 

There’s a knock at the door. He looks at it, too dazed to move.

“Come in,” he croaks, hoping that it’s Jim or Amanda and not Katie or Allie. 

The door swings open, and Allie walks in, holding a plate with a sandwich on it.

“Mom said to bring this to you-are you vaping,” she says, looking at him with a repulsed expression. 

“No,” he answers, then realizes he’s holding a vape. It’s sitting in his hand, somehow still there after his nap. “What’s that?”

“Lunch,” she says. “Dinner too, I guess.”

“Dinner? What time is it?”

“Seven.”

Holy fuck. He must have been asleep for...at least seven hours. 

The nightmare felt a lot longer. 

“Isn’t it your shower time,” he says. 

Allie nods, her lips pressed into a thin line. She sets the plate down on the end of the bed, then leaves the room, not closing the door all the way. Harry moves to close it, then stops and lays back down when he realizes that it’s really fucking hard to move his body right now. His limbs haven’t had much use recently. Or ever. 

Allie puts the sandwich on the bed, then steps out of Harry’s room, trying to shut the door softly but not shutting it all the way and walking away because she doesn’t feel like putting more effort towards Harry.

It still hasn’t sunk in that he’s living in her house, maybe because he hasn’t left his room except to eat dinner and attempt to take a shower. She wonders if he stays in his room all day, doing god knows what, in his own house, or if that’s a new thing.

Allie understands grief. She went through a fuck ton of it when Cassandra died. It’s been a year but it still feels fresh, like Cassandra should walk through the door and get mad at Allie for watching TV instead of studying for physics like she should be. Allie would get mad at her, saying that school isn’t important and Cassandra doesn’t need to worry about her, but now she wants nothing more than for that to happen. 

But she’s never been a fan of Harry. Well, technically at one point she was a fan of him, too much of a fan, enough that she would eagerly look for him in the hallways and try to sit near him at assemblies and things like that. But even then she knew that she could never actually be with him. He’s a dick. He’s closed off. He doesn’t try whatsoever and gets everywhere, in school, with friends, in life. He threw a party once every few months, on important occasions like Halloween and the school year ending. Allie never went, never even bothered to try because she was never invited and would stick out like a sore thumb among all the older and more popular kids that attended. 

And now Harry is living with her. In her house. Sharing her bathroom and sitting at Cassandra’s seat at the table. 

She doesn’t want him there. She wants him to fuck off and go live in his house or go to some Ivy League college where she doesn’t have to see him. Deal with him. Think about him. 

Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like that’s happening anytime soon. 


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, Allie walks by Harry’s room on her way to visit Katie. She notices that the door is still open slightly, exactly the way she left it last night. 

“Harry,” she says cautiously, standing right outside his door.

He doesn’t respond. She opens the door, averts her eyes for a second in case he’s not...presentable. When he doesn’t do anything, she looks up. 

Harry looks pathetic. She might have thought she was dead if she didn’t see the subtle rise and fall of his chest, his eyes blinking and looking up at her. He’s sprawled out on the bed, sheets pulled up to his waist, vape and remote next to him. His hair is messy, stubble starting to appear. His eyes are rimmed with red. 

“Harry,” she says, stepping closer. 

“What,” he asks, then coughs. 

“Have you left this room recently?” 

He hesitates, then says, “No.”

“Not even to pee?”

He doesn’t say anything. 

“Well, that’s how you get a UTI, so you should probably avoid that,” Allie replies, trying to be humorous, but it falls kinda flat. 

Harry doesn’t do anything, just continues staring vacantly.

“Harry,” Allie says. She reaches her arm out, lays her hand on the bed. 

“Harry, I think you should get up.”

Nothing. She stands up, walks out, shuts the door this time. 

Harry feels paralyzed. He can’t move. His mind is barely moving either. He feels like he can’t do anything except lie in bed, staring at the generic artwork of the ocean on the wall. He’s content doing this.

Except for the fact that every time he closes his eyes he has a nightmare.

Some of them include memories from when he was seven, about to go to the mountains with his parents. They have marshmallows and firewood packed in the Range Rover, ready for two nights of sleeping in a cabin and canoeing. Some involve the beach. Some involve being at his regular house, or at his grandparents’.

They all include the same thing. His parents dying. Him being arrested, thrown in jail, brought to court and being accused of killing his parents. 

“You’ve been doing it for so long,” a cop says. “We finally got ya.”

“Mom,” Allie says as she walks into the kitchen. “Harry hasn’t moved in like, two days.”

“You brought him the sandwich, right,” Amanda asks, turning around to look at her daughter. 

“He hasn’t eaten it yet,” Allie replies. “Hasn’t even gotten up to pee.”

Amanda puts down the vegetable oil she was holding.

“I don’t know what to do,” Allie says. “I mean, I talked to him, but what else can I do?”

“I’ll try,” Amanda says. “Don’t worry sweetie, okay? It’s gonna be okay.”

It’s gonna be okay. Allie heard those words a lot about one year ago. Too fucking many times. 

It’s gonna be okay. What an annoying phrase. Why wouldn’t things be okay? Is the world going to end because someone died? Is it just a thing people say when they want to comfort you but they don’t know how to deal with emotions?

Allie shakes her head and starts walking to her room. She doesn’t want her day to be ruined because of Harry. She had just started feeling normal again.

She knows that Harry hasn’t felt normal in a while. 

She feels kind of guilty now. 

That night, Harry doesn’t come to dinner. Katie asks the Pressmans about the vacations they’ve gone on. She says that she’s been to the Bahamas, England, France, Australia, a ton of places in the US. Jim says that that’s cool, carefully avoiding mentioning her parents. 

Allie doesn’t know how Katie is so...normal. Her mom died a week ago. Her dad died six months ago. Everyone in town has been acting weird around her, constantly telling her that they’re sorry for her loss and that it’s gonna be okay. At least Allie is assuming that’s what’s happening. Assuming their experiences are the same. 

Allie washes the dishes and goes to take a shower, grabbing her pajamas and walking to the bathroom. She looks towards Harry’s room. The door is still closed. 

The next day, she decides to walk by again and check it out.

He’s not inside. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was more filler, it gets more interesting


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of an entire story within a story oops

That night, Allie has a sex dream about Harry. They’re at his house, and she’s never actually been to his house in the last ten years but she knows it’s his house, and they’re kissing, making out, then she takes off his shirt and he takes off hers, then he leans in…

And she wakes up. She screams in frustration, then stops and looks around as if anyone’s going to be watching her. She’s disgusted. A sex dream about Harry Bingham.

Yet she still wants it to continue. 

Allie gets up, desperately wanting water because her throat is dry as shit, and walks to the kitchen.

She almost loses her shit when she sees Harry standing there.

“Harry,” she whisper-yells. “What are you-”

“I need your help,” he whispers, crossing the room to be closer to her. 

Allie steps back. She knows he can’t like, sense the fact that she just dreamed about making out with him, but she’s still very embarrassed and very sweaty. “What do you...need my help with?”

“I,” he says, pauses. “I crashed your mom’s car.”

“You what,” Allie exclaims, then realizes that she’s being too loud and whisper-yells, “You did what?!”

“It was an accident,” Harry says. “I was gonna take mine but hers was blocking mine in, and I was just going for a joyride, but-”

“She’s gonna be so pissed,” Allie replies. “That car is from last year-”

“I’m sorry,” Harry says, his voice cracking. “I fucked up.”

And then he breaks down crying. Allie doesn’t know what to do, she’s never been good at handling other people’s emotions, and having to comfort Harry isn’t a thing she would have thought she’d have to do, ever.

She wraps her arms around him, pulls his body closer to hers. He does the same, leans his head against her shoulder, sobbing into it. Allie knows this can’t just be because of the car. So far she hasn’t seen him cry, just stare blankly or look slightly pissed off, and now he’s having a full on breakdown.

She looks at the clock. 11:00 PM. They have time to fix this.

“Harry,” she says. He doesn’t acknowledge her, just keeps crying. “It’s okay. We can fix it. It’s okay.”

He sniffs, then goes quiet. 

“Really,” he asks, head still tucked into the area where her neck and shoulder meet.

“Yeah,” she says, trying to sound a little more enthusiastic. “Not if we don’t go right now though. Come on.”

She starts walking towards the front door, but Harry doesn’t move, just keeps standing there as if he’s still leaning on her.

“Harry,” she says. “Let’s go.”

She grabs his hand and starts pulling him towards the door. She pulls him the whole way, opening the passenger door and letting him get inside, then walking around and getting into the driver’s seat. She grabs the keys from the cupholder, starts the car, then realizes she doesn’t know how to drive.

Well, she kind of does. She knows how to go forward and backward, but was never good at turning or smoothly hitting the brakes.

“Why aren’t we going,” Harry asks, looking at the floor in front of him.

“I, uh, don’t really know how to drive,” she answers honestly. “Well, I do, but I’m not great at it.”

Harry starts crying again. Allie grits her teeth and looks around, very scared and unsure about their current situation. She’s in her mom’s car, which was wrecked by a boy her sister used to be rivals with and is now having a mental breakdown, she doesn’t know how to drive, and it’s very likely that her mom is gonna find out anyways.

She puts the car in reverse, then begins backing out of the driveway, slowly, hitting the brakes every time she starts to get a little speed. The car lurches forward every time she uses the brakes, but it’s better than crashing. Harry doesn’t say anything, but his tears are starting to slow. 

Allie backs out of the driveway, turning the wheel, trying her best to make it smooth and not hit the cars parallel parked on the street. She’s tense the whole time, but eventually gets the car straightened out and drives down the street without a problem. 

She drives to the nearest repair shop, and sure enough, it’s closed. 

“Why couldn’t you have done this during business hours,” Allie says playfully, but Harry doesn’t smile. He continues staring at the ground, the occasional tear falling.

“Harry,” she says. “I know you’re sad right now. No, not sad, super fucking depressed, so depressed that you wish you were dead too so that you wouldn’t have to be so fucking depressed.”

He turns his head to look at her. He looks so sad and it makes Allie want to hug him and assure him that it’ll be okay. But she’s driving to get her mom’s car fixed so that he won’t get in trouble, so she settles for talking to him.

“And eventually you’ll get over it, forget about it even, but other people won’t, and they’ll keep treating you like a broken person instead of a regular person,” she says. “And you’ll feel guilty because you keep putting them in the uncomfortable position of having to be sorry for you, just by existing.”

Harry sniffles. She knows that he’s thinking that she’s right.

“But it’ll get better,” she says. “It will get so much better and soon enough you’ll be living a regular, happy life, and you won’t forget about the person who died, but you’ll accept them, remember them for what they were. You’ll be okay.”

She reaches out her hand, and he grabs it, lacing their fingers together and squeezing. It reassures Allie as much as it does him.

Allie has never spoken those words before. Never even really thought them. But she knows they’re true. She’s gone through it. So has Harry. So has pretty much every single person in the entire world. 

She squeezes his hand, then turns left to go on the interstate that leads them out of town. 

They stop at the next exit, driving around what seems to be the town center, looking for a repair shop. They find one. Closed.

They get back on the interstate, stop at the next exit, find the repair shop, see that it’s closed. It’s 12:00 now, so they only have eight hours left to find someone who can fix the car, get it fixed, and get it back home before either of her parents notices. It’s starting to sound impossible.

She looks over at Harry. He’s resting his eyes, looking so content Allie wishes that she could fall asleep just like that. She’s tired, had only been sleeping for an hour or so before she’d been woken up.

By a sex dream. Can’t forget that. 

She looks at his face, at his delicate cheekbones, the hair that curls around his forehead. Allie would be lying if she said he wasn’t attractive. But mentally…

Yeah. He’s attractive mentally too. But she knows it can’t happen. He just graduated, is about to...probably go to college, she doesn’t really know, and she’s gonna start her senior year in a few weeks, where she’ll do the bare minimum and graduate with mediocre grades since at this point grades don’t matter, as long as they’re good enough to graduate. He’ll be the life of the party at college, playing beer pong and hooking up with every girl who has eyes because he’s so goddamn good looking. 

Allie pulls into another small town, stopping at a gas station this time to ask the employee if they know of any places they can get the car fixed this late at night. She pulls into a parking space at the nicest looking gas station, praying that nothing bad happens to her and she can find a repair place. 

Harry stirs, groans a little. He opens his eyes slowly, then looks around, blinking rapidly. He groans again, then leans his head back against the headrest. 

“I’m gonna go inside and ask for help,” Allie says, then opens the door. 

“Wait,” Harry says, opening his eyes and looking at her. “You...I’ll come with you.”

“No offense, but you don’t look very intimidating right now,” she says.

Harry doesn’t argue, and she can tell that he’s still tired.

“If I’m not back in five minutes, come find me, okay?”

He nods, then looks at the clock on the console. Allie almost laughs at the fact that he’s literally going to wait five minutes. It’s cute.

She closes the door and walks into the gas station, which is empty except for the employee behind the counter. He’s an average sized guy, probably around eighteen, and he’s looking at his phone. He looks up when he sees Allie walk up to him.

“Hi,” she says, trying to be as nice as possible. “I was wondering if you know of any car repair places that are open right now.” She knows that sounds ridiculous, but at this point, there’s no harm in trying. 

“That’s a tall order,” the guy says. Allie laughs dryly, glad that he has a sense of humor.

“But,” he says. “There is one. It’s not necessarily a car repair place, kind of some guy’s warehouse where he fixes random things, but he’s always awake at night.”

“Okay,” Allie says, nodding enthusiastically. “Where is he?”

He gives her directions, and she takes out her phone to write them down, then realizes that her pockets are empty. She didn’t bring her phone. Or her wallet. She’s so fucking stupid.

“Thanks,” she says, turning away, trying to remember the directions. She leaves the gas station and gets back into the car, where Harry is adjusting the radio. 

“Hey,” he says. “That took approximately two and a half minutes.”

“Glad to see you took the five minutes request seriously,” she says, sitting down and fastening her seatbelt. 

“Of course,” he says.

Allie suddenly feels very jittery and squirmy. She has the urge to smile and also to fuck him senselessly, but obviously she can’t do either of those, so she presses her lips into a pout and focuses on driving. The place is a few miles down the main road, then they go into a neighborhood, if you can call it that, considering that it’s a few small roads with no more than five houses on each, and eventually arrive at their location.

The guy wasn’t kidding when he said that it’s a warehouse. In front of them stands a giant metal building with two big doors that are open, exposing the things inside. Two cars in various states of disrepair, a truck with no tires, various pieces of furniture.

Allie realizes how dangerous this is. They’re at the warehouse of some redneck who they don’t know, in a town they’ve never even heard of, in the middle of the night, with no phones and no one who knows they’re gone except for them. 

“Should we knock, or...honk,” Harry asks, bringing her back to reality. “Does he even live here, or does he have a house somewhere, do you think?”

“The gas station guy said he always works at night,” Allie says.

“Well, there’s only one way to find out,” he says, then unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out.

Oh to be as unafraid as a man. She gets out too, leaving the car running in case they have to make a quick escape. They walk into the warehouse, trying to see anything in the darkness. The car headlights help a little bit, but other than that it’s all dark.

“Hey,” a voice says, and they both jump and look around for the source.

A man emerges from behind a car, holding a flashlight and a screwdriver.

“Who are you,” he asks, shining the flashlight at them.

“Hi,” Allie says. “We heard that you repair cars, and, uh, we have a car to repair.”

He steps closer, and Allie steps backwards, Harry’s hand coming out to shield her. She would be incredibly turned on if she wasn’t scared for her life right now.

“Well you’re in luck,” the man says, and Harry and Allie breathe a sigh of relief.

They walk him to the car, and he looks at it, pokes around for a second. 

“Well, it’s just a dent, nothing major,” he states. “Bumper’s messed up though. We’ll need to get a new one.”

“We can’t get a new one,” Allie says. “We kind of need it done in like…” she looks at the console. “Three hours.”

The man chuckles. “I’ve got my work cut out for me. But I think I can do it.”

“Oh,” Allie exclaims, reaching forward to grab his hands. “Thank you!”

“Thanks so much,” Harry says, more emotion in his voice than Allie has heard from him recently. Barring a few hours earlier when he broke down in tears and she hugged him and held his hand and apparently that had a calming effect on him. She doesn’t want to think about what that implies because right now she’s really fucking tired and just want to get the car fixed and go home and go to bed. 

She and Harry don’t really have anything to do, and they can’t go anywhere since the car is being fixed, so they have no choice but to stand around and wait. They walk around awkwardly, looking for a place to sit, then Harry lightly touches her arm, causing her to turn around.

“That thing you said earlier,” he says softly. “About being super depressed and everyone treating you like a broken person and shit.”

He pauses, blinks a few times.

“I really needed that. Thanks.” 

Allie smiles and replies, “Anytime.” 

They sit around for the next few hours, half asleep, then the man announces that the car is fixed.

Allie runs over to look at it, then lets out a big sigh of relief when she sees that it looks good as new.

“Thank you,” she exclaims. “Thank you!”

Harry takes out his wallet and gives the man a hundred, then they get in the car and start booking it back home. 

They don’t talk at all, just listen to the radio, too tired and emotional to do any talking. They arrive in West Ham at 5:15, thirty minutes before her mom wakes up. They arrive at the house, get out of the car, enter the house quietly, put the keys back where they’re supposed to be, then take off their shoes, all without being caught.

Allie is about to sneak upstairs to her room, then Harry stops her.

“Thanks,” he says. “For doing this. You didn’t have to.”

“No problem,” Allie says.

And she means it. They go upstairs to their rooms, stepping as quietly as they can, then go into their respective rooms.

Allie flops down in bed, moments away from falling asleep, still with butterflies in her stomach from the adrenaline of the night and the fact that she kinda maybe likes Harry Bingham again. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy!

Allie wakes up at 11:00 the next day, and despite getting only five and a half hours of sleep, she feels great. She gets ready and goes downstairs, seeing Katie but not Harry, then leaves the house.

“Allie,” Becca says as she opens the door. “Finally! Why were you so late?”

Allie holds up the Chick Fil A bag, and Becca gasps and grabs it, hugging it to her body. 

“Never mind,” Becca says. “You’re my angel.”

They go inside, Becca still hugging the bag, and sit in the living room, where Sam is sitting. 

“Is that Chick Fil A,” he asks, pointing to the bag. 

Becca nods.

“And you didn’t bring any for me,” he says to Allie.

“There’s a meal for both of you,” Allie replies.

Allie looks at her phone while Sam and Becca eat. Her explore page is now showing Tik Toks, which she has never watched, so she’s not sure why they’re there, but the memes and stuff she usually likes are still there. 

“So,” Becca says, throwing her empty fry container into the bag. “What’s happening in your life?”

Sam clears his throat, then starts saying something, but Becca cuts him off.

“Not you, idiot,” she says. “Allie.”

Allie smiles, then frowns when she remembers what’s happening.

“Um,” she says. “In major news, Harry Bingham and his sister are living with us.”

Becca’s jaw drops. “Really?! Why?”

Allie nods, then replies, “Well, uh, you know that their mom...died, and right now they don’t have a legal guardian, so my parents invited them to move in with us.”

“Did you consent to this,” Becca asks.

“Not really,” Allie says. “I mean, it’s not that bad though. His little sister is cute, and he doesn’t really do anything. Just lies in bed and mopes.”

“Still think he’s hot,” Becca asks, and Allie sits up and tries to slap her.

“Hold up,” Sam says.

“Shut up,” Allie exclaims.

“She had such a crush on him like two years ago,” Becca says, avoiding Allie’s hands. 

“Okay, maybe I did,” says Allie. “But I’m over it!”

“And now he’s living in your house, all angsty because his mom died,” Becca says. She gasps. “Are you guys sharing a room?!”

“Nope,” Allie answers. “I would definitely object to that.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure you would object,” Becca replies. “You would be sooo upset about having to share a room. Maybe even a bed.”

“This is bullying,” Allie says. “I am being bullied. I brought you Chick Fil A and you have the audacity to bully me.”

“The Chick Fil A was good,” Becca says. “Just let me know when you two fuck though.”

Allie shakes her head and looks back down at her phone. 

She leaves a few hours later, going back home to eat dinner despite the fact that she ate Chick Fil A earlier. She’s not hungry, but her mom cooked for all of them, so she has to at least eat a little. Plus tonight is cake night and she’s not missing out on that. She gets home and takes off her shoes, then notices that Harry is sitting in the kitchen.

“Hey,” she says, surprised. 

“Hey,” he says. His eyes look slightly vacant.

He doesn’t mention last night. Allie is a little pissed that he didn’t because she kind of did him a big favor and it would be nice to get some acknowledgement. She nods and starts to walk away. This encounter is awkward as shit and she wants to get out. Harry watches her go, still with that blank stare. 

Harry’s been feeling better. He doesn’t feel like a total piece of shit, just mostly a piece of shit. Still better than nothing.

Yet he still has a nightmare. This one involves him in his backyard, looking at a fire. Except it’s not in the fire pit, it’s a real fire, engulfing his house.

Harry set it. He knows he did. His parents were inside, and he set that fire, smiled as it burned.

Harry wakes up in a cold sweat, trying to figure out where he is. He sees that ocean painting and remembers. The Pressmans’.

The nightmare felt so real. They always do, but in this one, he felt the fire, felt the emotions.

And it was fucking terrifying. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *car ride*

Allie wakes up at 9:00 and goes downstairs, where Katie is sitting on the couch watching TV. 

“Hey,” she says.

“Hi,” Katie says. 

Allie opens a yogurt and sits on the couch next to her. Some Disney Channel show is playing, and Allie doesn’t want to be one of those people who thinks everything from their childhood is better than what’s around now but Disney Channel seriously fell off after 2013.

“Harry is gonna drive me to my friend’s house today,” Katie says.

“That’s nice,” Allie says. “You get to ride in his fancy car.”

“Mommy’s was nicer,” Katie says.

She goes silent.  _ Shit.  _ Allie walked herself into that one.

Katie starts crying, and Allie is kind of uncomfortable with it, but she leans over and hugs her, trying her best to be comforting. It’s a little different than hugging Harry, but she thinks she’s doing alright since Katie hasn’t pulled away or anything like that.

Allie doesn’t know if she should give her the speech that she gave Harry. Maybe an abridged version.

“Hey,” she says in a soothing, more high pitched voice. “Your mommy’s in heaven now. She’s watching you, and you don’t realize it, but she loves you.”

“Really,” Katie asks, sniffling and wiping away her tears.

“Yeah,” Allie replies. “She’s up there, and she’ll be watching you as you live and grow.”

Katie sniffles one more time, then sits there, not crying but not getting out of the hug. Allie rubs an arm up and down the other girl’s arm, staring at the TV as commercials about super annoying looking toys play.

“Thanks,” Katie says, sitting upright.

“No problem,” Allie says. “If you ever feel sad again, come to me okay?”

“Always,” Katie asks, looking at Allie with wide eyes.

“Always,” Allie says. 

She stands up to throw away her yogurt cup and go brush her teeth and get dressed. 

She thinks about the last part of their conversation, the part where Katie seemed legitimately shocked when Allie said that she can come to her anytime. She wonders if Karen Bingham ever did that. Probably not, considering what she’s heard about the woman and why Harry is so closed off. He’s probably never had anyone to vent to.

Well, technically, he’s had girlfriends in the past. He had a year long relationship with Kelly Aldrich, and they always seemed happy together, until out of nowhere they broke up and Kelly started dating Allie’s friend Will.

For some reason, Allie doesn’t think Harry vented to his girlfriends either. She doesn’t know why she thinks that. There’s no reason for her to think that. Just her being presumptive.

Yet she still thinks it’s true. 

Two hours later, Harry still hasn’t woken up and Katie seems ready to go to her friend’s house. Allie sympathizes with Katie, since there have been many times when she’s been antsy to go somewhere but her parents are taking forever, so she goes to wake him up.

Before knocking on the door, she adjusts her dress, brushes through her hair with her hands. She’s wearing a cute sundress today, baby blue with patches of cotton printed onto it. She knows that it’s stupid to try to look cute for him since he’s definitely not attracted to her, but she does it anyways.

She knocks on the door, no response. She calls out his name, waits a few seconds, then opens the door. He’s sleeping, laying on his back with an arm propped under his head and his face facing the door. He looks unfairly good while sleeping, but he looks unfairly good all the time so there’s really no difference. 

Allie walks over and gently touches his arm. She feels kind of awkward doing it, but she doesn’t know any other way to wake someone up without making them hate her.

He shifts, then opens his eyes, blinking a few times then looking at her.

“Hi,” she says. “Uh, Katie really wants to go to her friend’s house, so if you wanna wake up…”

“Why don’t you drive her,” he grumbles, shifting his body so that he’s facing away from the light coming in through the windows.

“There’s no way I’m driving your car,” she replies. “Plus, I think Katie wants you to drive her there.”

He takes a deep breath in, huffs. Goes silent for a moment. Then says, “Alright. Give me ten minutes.”

Allie smiles, then pats his arm and leaves the room. She tells Katie that he’ll be ready in a couple minutes, and the girl whoops and jumps in the air, then runs to sit on the couch. Allie likes how happy she is. She used to be like that. Happy as a default state. Now she has to worry about school and college and her future and how she has no fucking clue what she wants to do but she has to make up her mind right now or else she won’t know where to go to college and she’ll be in debt for no reason and her parents will be disappointed-

“Hey,” Harry says as he comes down the stairs, wearing a blue linen shirts and Chino shorts and looking unbelievably good even though he woke up five minutes ago.

“Ready to go,” he asks his sister, who jumps up and nods enthusiastically.

“Have fun,” Allie says, waving them goodbye then turning towards the stairs.

“Wait,” Harry says. She turns around. “You’re not coming with us?’

“I didn’t know I was invited,” she replies. “You’re just driving a few minutes away, right? Do I need to go?”

“Have you ever ridden in the Maserati,” he asks.

“No,” he says.

“There’s no better chance to do that than now.”

Allie really does want to, and the only thing stopping her is the fact that she doesn’t know how to act around Harry and is scared she’ll embarrass herself or kiss him, which would technically be under the category of embarrassing, but she does really want to go.

“Okay,” she says, sounding reluctant but feeling quite the opposite.

Harry smirks, and Allie feels attacked, then they all walk out to the car. She sits in the passenger seat, immediately feeling comfortable because the car is so nice, and Harry starts backing out of the driveway.

“You do that a lot smoother than me,” Allie says. 

“What, backing out of the driveway,” he asks.

“Uh, yeah,” she says. “Remember? Two nights ago?”

“Oh,” he exclaims. “Yeah. Kinda forgot about that.”

Allie wonders how he could forget, but then she realizes she kinda forgot too until she made her comment.

They drive to Katie’s friend’s house, which takes about five minutes since not many people are driving at this time of day, and Katie gets out and says goodbye to both of them and runs into the house.

“I remember those days,” Allie says. “When I would go to a friend’s house and we would play with dolls and eat the snacks their parents always had.”

He chuckles. “Those were the days.”

“Now we talk about memes and make sex jokes,” she says. “Not too much of a difference.”

“Sex jokes huh,” he says.

“Obviously,” she replies. “I’m best friends with Becca you know.”

He laughs again, then faces her and says, “You think Becca’s bad? Try talking to like, any boy in high school.”

“Every boy period.”

“True.”

They arrive at her house, and Allie wonders if they’re going to keep talking, but Harry just takes out his phone and walks to his room, completely ignoring her.

Allie knew it was gonna go like that. Harry doesn’t like her, for fuck’s sake, they didn’t even talk to each other until like two days ago, but she’s still sad as fuck when she sits down on the couch by herself and takes out her phone. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More driving ✨

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry my uploading schedule is so inconsistent lmao, hope you enjoy

He’s kissing her. She brings her arms up, grabs his hair, pulls it. He has his hands on her waist, then pulls back so he can remove her shirt. She removes his, enjoying the view, then he kisses her again.

Allie opens her eyes. She looks around, confused because she’s not making out with Harry, then the realization that it was a dream. She’s not making out with Harry. Never was.

Why would she be.

That morning, she wakes up and goes downstairs, then sees that Harry is there and suddenly feels very embarrassed because she just dreamed about them having sex. Well, they didn’t actually have sex, which Allie is very upset about, but she still feels like Harry is going to somehow read her mind and she feels incredibly scared about it.

“Your mom makes really good bacon,” he says. Allie looks down and sees that there’s a plate of bacon on the counter that she hadn’t noticed when she came in. She was too distracted looking at his face.

God, Allie can’t even deny it anymore. Harry is hot, she’s attracted to Harry, she wants to be with Harry. She had been stupid to deny it before.

The only problem is that he is probably not attracted to her so they’re not going to get together so Allie is stuck having a crush on him and never getting to act on it.

Great.

“Can I have some bacon,” she asks.

“I don’t know, can you,” he replies, smirking.

“Okay Ms. Lawrence,” Allie says, sitting down next to him and grabbing a piece of bacon. It’s kinda cold but still good.

He laughs. “She did that every time someone said the word can. Annoying bitch.”

“Unfortunately, I’ll probably have her next year, so I’ll have to get very good at saying may or holding my pee,” she responds.

“Good luck,” Harry says, then averts his eyes and eats some bacon. 

“I have to find a way to get to school this year since Mom is starting work earlier now,” Allie says, then takes a bite of bacon. “Maybe I’ll ask them to get me a car.”

“Pretty sure you have to be good at driving to drive to school,” Harry replies.

“Oh come on, I wasn’t that bad,” she says. “I got us to the place we needed to go without getting anyone killed, right?”

“You did,” Harry says. “Could be better though. And there’s only one way to do that.”

Allie takes another bite of bacon, then slides her eyes up to make eye contact with him.

“Are you,” she asks, and he cuts her off by saying, “Yes, I’m offering to teach you to drive.”

“With what, my parents’ cars? You don’t really have a great track record with those.”

His expression changes, and Allie immediately regrets saying that, but he says, “No, with the Maserati. Or Porsche if you want. Or BMW. Those ones are a little more difficult though, might wanna start with the more beginner one.”

“The Maserati is the beginner car,” she asks incredulously. “What did you learn to drive on, a Bentley?”

“Yeah actually,” he answers, and Allie chokes a little. “The Maserati isn’t any more difficult to drive than a regular car. You’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” she says. “You’ll have to drive it first though, just for a little bit, so that I can watch and make sure I know what I’m not gonna mess anything up.”

“If you insist,” Harry says, then puts the rest of his bacon strip into his mouth and stands up.

“Wait,” Allie says. “I gotta brush my teeth and get dressed and shit. Can’t go outside looking like this.”

“Oh, right,” Harry says. “Should probably do that too. Can’t be sitting in close proximity to a girl in this state.”

“Well we just sat right next to each other and neither of us is dead,” Allie says, then wonders where this banter came from. 

They go upstairs and into their rooms, and Allie brushes her teeth and washes her face and puts a cute sundress and bracelet that is totally not for the purpose of looking good for Harry. She leaves her room and goes downstairs, and Harry comes downstairs a few minutes later, wearing a blue dress shirt and tan pants.

“Why do you always dress up so much,” Allie asks. 

“Gotta dress to impress,” he replies. “You ready to go for a drive?”

He says them in an innocent tone, but those words excite Allie more than they should. She shakes her shoulders to distract herself from dirty thoughts. She can’t do that right now.

They get in the car, and Allie is again taken aback by the niceness of it. The seats practically caress her, they feel comfortable when she sits, and everything else in the car looks incredibly nice and expensive. Harry really drives this car all the time and doesn’t think twice about it.

He starts it, then puts it in reverse and backs out of the driveway. Allie pays close attention. It’s not any different than a regular car, except that the starting mechanism is a button instead of a key and everything is a lot smoother. She knows that it has more acceleration and more responsiveness which will make it a lot harder to drive.

Harry turns left at the end of her street, and she watches his hands, turning the wheel so smoothly and gripping the bottom of the steering wheel with ease. 

Jesus Christ Allie. Stop getting distracted. 

After a minute or so, they pull into a gas station parking lot. Harry puts the car in park, then looks at her expectantly. 

She opens her door and gets out, and they trade seats. Allie slides into the driver’s seat, immediately feeling the warmth where his body was. She puts on her seatbelt, and he does the same, then she puts the car in reverse and puts her hands on the steering wheel.

She looks around, then starts reversing, hitting the brakes a little too harshly when a car drives behind them.

“Lesson number one, you don’t have to press that hard,” Harry says.

Allie rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I know.”

“Then why are you doing it?”

She doesn’t respond, just eases off the brakes and reverses all the way out of the spot. When another car crosses in front of them, she presses the brake more softly this time, bringing the car to a smooth stop. 

“Good,” Harry says, and Allie feels butterflies in her stomach.

She exits the gas station parking lot, feeling incredibly nervous because now they’re on a busy street and she’s only been driving this car for a minute so she doesn;t know it yet. When the light turns green, she presses the gas and the car starts going way too fast and she hits the brakes, not too smooth but not too jarring either.

“Yeah, it kind of accelerates a lot,” he says. “Pretty finicky too. Don’t turn the wheel if you don’t want to turn.” 

Allie nods, too nervous to say anything. She cannot afford to crash this thing.

After a couple minutes, she feels pretty comfortable driving. It’s actually not that different from a cheaper car, just like Harry said, and driving isn’t actually that hard once your muscles start to remember what to do.

“I have to say, I’m impressed,” Harry says. “You’re doing pretty good.”

“Maybe I have expensive taste,” Allie replies. “I have to drive an expensive car or it won’t be pretty.”

He laughs. “Maybe you’ll have to steal this one.”

They’re almost to her house. Well, kind of their house now. Harry and Katie have been living there for a few weeks now and they’ll be staying for the foreseeable future.

She pulls into the driveway and turns off the car, then sits back, not wanting to get out just yet. Harry doesn’t move either, and they sit together in silence.

“We’ll have to do this again,” Harry says. “You improved a lot, but that right turn could use some work.”

“Yeah,” Allie says, then sits upright. Harry does too.

“Maybe tomorrow,” he says.

Then she’s leaning in, and he’s leaning in too, and their faces are so close, so ready to touch, then a young girl’s voice interrupts them.

“Harry,” Katie yells. “Can you make me a sandwich?”

Harry and Allie both pull back. He looks at her, then down at her lips, then opens the car door and gets out.

Allie sits there for a few minutes, wondering how the fuck they got to that point.

And how they can continue. 

  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you’re enjoying the story!

“I have something to tell you,” Allie says as soon as Becca picks up.

“Please do,” Becca replies. “I’m intrigued, you’ve never said anything like that before.”

“Okay,” Allie says. “Um, yesterday, Harry and I went for a drive…”

“Ooh,” Becca interrupts. “A drive, huh?”

“Would you let me finish,” Allie says. “So, we went for a drive because he learned that I’m a terrible driver and he offered to help me learn so we went out in his car and we talked and then we came back-”

“And fucked,” Becca says.

“No,” Allie replies. “No we...sat there and then we both kinda leaned over and...didn’t kiss. We got interrupted.”

“Getting cockblocked is always a drag,” Becca says. “But you’re telling me that you and Harry almost kissed?!”

“Yeah,” says Allie. “We almost kissed and then we got interrupted and I’m really wondering how we got to that point because I don’t think he likes me and it’s been three hours since then and we haven’t talked and I don’t know what to do.”

“I think the solution is pretty obvious,” Becca replies. “Put on your cutest lingerie and fuck him senseless.”

“For fuck’s sake Becca, that’s not what I’m doing,” Allie exclaims. “I’ve never been in a relationship, never even kissed a person before. I’m seventeen and never kissed anyone. How pathetic is that.”

“Okay, maybe a little weird, but not pathetic,” Becca says. “But like...it’s never too late to start.”

Allie breathes out, then says, “The thing is...I don’t know about Harry. I mean, both of his parents died recently, what if he’s just acting out or just wants sex-”

“Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but it doesn’t sound like he just wants sex,” Becca says. “Okay, I gotta go to the airport now, send me updates, bye!”

“Bye,” Allie says, hanging up the phone and pressing her lips together. She kind of agrees with Becca. Harry has a reputation for having lots of sex but it seems like if he was after that he would be more...bold. Not making general conversation and having a breakdown in the car as they drive to get her mom’s car repaired because he crashed it.

He still hasn’t acknowledged that. Just keeps acting like it didn’t happen. Allie doesn’t know if that’s intentional or not since he probably wasn’t in the best mental state at the time but she hopes he remembers the speech she gave him.

Fuck it, she thinks. She’s gonna go downstairs and see him and deal with any awkwardness right now because she can’t just ignore him for however long he keeps living here. 

She walks down the stairs and is greeted by her dad standing in the kitchen.

“Dad,” she says, surprised. He’s never home at this time.

“Hey pumpkin,” he replies. “Decided to take a half day today so I can cook dinner. Your mom needs a break.”

“Okay,” Allie says. “What are you making?”

“Pot roast,” he states. “Still need to buy the ingredients though.”

“I’ll do it,” Harry says as he walks into the room.

“No I’ll do it,” Allie says.

“Two is better than one,” Harry says, looking right at her.

“Alright, you two can go, I’ll give you a list,” Jim says. “Thanks for doing that.”

“Payment for letting me live in your house,” Harry says.

Allie sits at the counter, totally caught off guard by this whole encounter. Now she’ll be stuck in a car with Harry again and they’ll either talk about whatever it is they have going on or they’ll avoid it and continue to be awkward and they’re all gonna have dinner together tonight so they’ll be sitting there with her parents and his sister so they won’t get to talk and-

“Allie, you coming,” Harry asks, twirling his keychain.

Allie snaps out of her thoughts and walks toward him.

They get in his car and drive to the store in silence, the radio playing quietly, every sound the car makes heard. Allie doesn’t really want to initiate the conversation before they get to the store since they’ll still have to shop and ride back in the car, so she just sits there and waits.

They get to the store, and Harry rips off half the list and gives it to her, then turns and starts walking away. Allie doesn’t know what she expected, but she’s still kind of taken aback, so she slowly turns away and starts making her way through the grocery store, trying to focus on just getting the food and not think about Harry and whatever the fuck is going on.

Once she finishes, she pays and walks to the car, where Harry is waiting, staring pensively at the steering wheel. She loads up the groceries and they drive home, then he turns off the car and she takes off her seatbelt and faces him. 

“Harry,” she says, and he slowly turns to look at her.

“We need to talk,” she says. “About whatever this is.”

“Whatever this is,” he says questioningly.

“The fact that yesterday we almost kissed and we’ve had this weird thing going on for the past few days,” she says, annoyed that he isn’t wanting to talk about it. Fucking dickhead.

“I thought I made it pretty fucking obvious,” he says.

“What,” Allie asks.

“Thought I made it pretty fucking obvious,” he repeats, not elaborating which Allie is incredibly annoyed about...though she kinda feels like she knows what he’s talking about.

“Harry-” she says, but he’s getting out of the car and walking into the house. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t really know how to summarize this chapter other than “stuff happens” so yeah, hope you enjoy!

Allie retreats to her room while Harry is helping put away the groceries, and he tries to talk to her, but she’s already gone. She doesn’t show her face again until dinner.

Harry really fucking likes Allie. He has for a while, but never acted on it, partially because of Kelly and partially because he thought there was no way in hell she likes him back.

Apparently he was wrong, and now he feels like a fucking idiot and he fucked it up and now there’s no way they’re gonna get together.

He wonders if they would have actually gotten together. If they would have started a relationship and gone on dates to the local ice cream shop and had each others’ names in their phones next to a heart emoji. He likes to think that would have happened. Just a nice, normal relationship.

But he knows that probably wouldn’t have happened. He would be dealing with all his depression and anxiety and shit and Allie would get tired of dealing with it too and dump him and that would make it even worse even though she can’t help it and he would probably go back to using Xans and shit because it makes him feel so much fucking better.

For fuck’s sake Harry, stop thinking about it. They’re not going to get together and that’s that.

Dinner is super fucking awkward. He sits at his spot on one side of the table, Katie next to him, Allie across from them, her parents at the head and foot. The pot roast is good, but they’re eating in silence, which is incredibly awkward. No one seems inclined to say anything, not even Katie, and she usually likes to talk. Maybe she senses the tension in the air.

Allie has been looking at her plate the whole time, and her neck must be hurting but she refuses to look up.

“Ugh, work today was so annoying,” Amanda says, breaking the silence. “So many people just don’t know how to act nowadays.”

“Don’t I know it,” Jim replies, shaking his head.

“I watched a movie today,” Katie says. “It was good.”

“The store was pretty crowded,” Harry says. “Guess everyone’s having a party or something.”

“Did you go shopping,” Amanda asks, and Harry nods.

“See Allie, he knows how to go shopping,” she says, and he sees Allie clench her fork.

“Oh, she went too,” Harry says. “We went together.”

He doesn’t see Allie’s reaction. Amanda says, “Oh,” but doesn’t apologize, which is a thing she and Karen have in common, then they go back to eating in silence. 

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Amanda says. “One of my coworkers invited Jim and I to go to their lakehouse this weekend, so you guys will be here by yourselves for the weekend!”

Normally Harry would feel excitement at her words, but now he just feels sad, thinking about what could have been.

“Why aren’t we coming too,” Allie asks.

“It’s an adults only thing,” her mom answers. “Sorry sweetie, I know how much you love going to other places. Maybe they’ll invite you in the future.”

Allie nods, looking back down at her plate. She’s probably thinking the same thing he is. They’re gonna be alone together, well technically not alone, Katie will be there too, which makes it worse since they’ll have to act normal around her.

They finish dinner, Allie washes the dishes, then she goes upstairs and Harry sits in the living room, looking at social media and trying not to think about the fact that right now his life is terrible in pretty much every way.

“Becca,” Allie says the second her friend picks up. “Becca Becca Becca I really need some advice right now so please tell me you’re free for the next two hours.”

“Two hours,” Becca says. “Are you pregnant or something?”

“No,” Allie replies. “Still a virgin. It’s about Harry.”

“Well you’re still a virgin, so I’m guessing that this is some emotions thing,” says Becca.

“Yeah,” Allie breathes. “Um...so, you know, we almost kissed, probably would have if we hadn’t been interrupted, and after that we didn’t talk because...I don’t even know why, and then yesterday we went to the store and then I confronted him about it because I don’t want it to be awkward, and then he said, ‘I thought I made it obvious’ and we haven’t talked since and now it’s more awkward than before and I just...I don’t know what to do.”

“Hold on,” Becca says. “I thought I made it obvious? Obviously I wasn’t there so I don’t know the nuances or anything, but it kinda sounds like he said that he likes you.”

“I mean,” Allie says, pacing around her room. Her head is spinning and she doesn’t know what to do other than talk. “Yeah. I think he did.”

“So he admitted that he likes you, and you like him right,” Becca says.

“I don’t know,” Allie says. “I...enjoy him. I enjoy the way he looks and how he talks and every time he literally breathes I think about how hot he is, but the personality part is more complex. He’s actually pretty sensitive. Before he always seemed so confident and unbothered but now he’s opening up more and I don’t know if that’s because his mom died or if he’s always like this, but it’s surprising and it’s not helping me.”

“Helping you what,” Becca asks.

“Helping me...think. About all this. God, human emotions are so fucking complex,” Allie says, flopping onto the bed.

“I know right,” Becca says. “Why can’t we just have lizard brains.”

“Reject humanity, return to monke,” Allie says, then says, “Sorry. That’s like the only opportunity I’ve had to say it.”

“Anyways,” says Becca. “You think you like him, but maybe you don’t because he has emotional baggage or something.”

“Yeah,” Allie says. “That’s right but...I don’t really mind that either. But he just graduated. He’s probably gonna go to college in like, a month. And we don’t really know each other. Don’t people usually start off as friends or go on a date or something? We haven’t done either of those. We had small interactions in school, and now he’s living with me, and we’ve talked a little bit, but not that much, and I feel like we know each other, but not really.”

“Listen, I know that this isn’t easy,” Becca says. “As you said, human emotions are very fucking complex and we should return to monkey or whatever you said, but it sounds like you like him. I say just...talk to him and see where it goes. You miss all the shots you don’t take.”

“Didn’t our third grade teacher have a poster that said that,” Allie asks.

“Yes,” Becca replies. “But that’s my advice, okay? Shoot your shot. Just go for it.”

“Okay,” Allie says. “Sorry for venting so much. At this point you’re practically my therapist.”

“I don’t mind,” Becca says. “That’s what friends are for. Plus I’ve been eating a choco taco this whole time and that helps.”

“Thanks,” Allie says. “I’ll send you updates.”

“Please do,” Becca says. “Okay, bye.”

“Bye,” Allie says, then sets her phone on the bed next to her and stares at the ceiling.

She thinks she likes Harry. She’s pretty sure she does. She’s pretty sure he likes her too somehow.

But what if it doesn’t work out?

Fuck it, Allie thinks. You miss every shot you don’t take.

Let’s fucking find out.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ✨more stuff happens✨

The next morning, Allie’s parents make breakfast for everyone, then leave for the lake, leaving Allie and Harry at the house alone.

Well, technically Katie’s there too, but she goes to friends’ houses a lot and when she’s home she spends all her time in the living room, and there’s plenty of fun to be had in a bedroom.

Jesus, Allie, why did you just think that. You’re not just fucking Harry. You’re not losing your virginity like that.

Would be pretty fucking nice if they did do that though.

“Hey Harry,” Allie says as she sits next to him at the counter.

He looks over at her, looking extremely confused. Allie doesn’t blame him. She’s surprised at herself for doing this.

“Hey,” he says.

“Got any plans for the weekend,” she asks.

“Um, no,” Harry says. “Just the usual. Get money and fuck bitches.”

Allie chokes on her own spit. Not because Katie’s just a few feet away or anything but because she hasn’t heard Harry say something like that in a long time.

“Ugh, sounds like fun,” Allie replies. “All I’m gonna do is sit around and wallow in sadness.”

“Impeccable plan,” he says, and they both laugh.

Good. She got him to laugh. They don’t completely hate each other.

“But really, I don’t have any plans,” Harry says. “All my friends are acting fucking weird, there aren’t any parties happening that I know of, and there’s nothing to do in this fucking depressing town except for that so yeah, no plans.”

“That’s so true,” Allie says. “I mean, I never go to parties or anything, I’m never invited, but a lot of my friends just...haven’t been talking to me, haven’t been texting me, so this summer has consisted of me being on Instagram for twelve hours a day and occasionally going to the strip mall to shop with my mom.”

“Best years of our lives, huh,” he says.

Allie nods, wondering if what she’s experiencing is real and not a dream because Harry Bingham just said that his high school years were shitty. Harry, one of the most popular kids in school, the kid who’s always having parties or attending them, the kid who everyone is jealous of.

Yet he’s just as miserable as the rest of them. It’s oddly comforting. Makes Allie feel better about herself, makes her able to dismiss the older people who say shit like, “This is the best time of your life, you’re young and stupid, you should enjoy it while you don’t have any responsibilities. What a load of bullshit.

“We can go do something,” she says. “Go out of town and go to the movies or something.”

“Movies are boring,” he replies. “I say we get some junk food and get trashed.”

“Maybe not the trashed part,” she says. “I don’t know if I trust us enough to do that.”

Harry looks down, taps his foot. “Yeah,” he says. “You’re probably right.”

“Harry,” Allie says, reaching out and touching his arm. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said-”

“No, it’s okay,” he says. “You’re right. No getting hammered. Just good old fashioned hanging out.”

He grabs Allie’s hand, then smiles and stands up to put away breakfast.

An hour later, they drop Katie off at a friend’s, then start driving to the middle of town to get some food.

“Okay, what should we get,” Allie asks. She’s not driving because she definitely won’t get through a drive through without some casualties. “There’s Mcdonalds, Chick Fil A…”

“Chick Fil A is homophobic, so not that,” Harry replies.

Okay, that makes her like him a little more.

“There’s a wing place that’s really good,” she says. “I would commit murder for their zesty lime wings.”

“Sounds good,” he says, then asks for directions.

They get seated at a booth and sit across from each other, and Allie kinda wishes they were sitting on the same side but it would look weird if she did that, so she looks at the menu and tries to get those thoughts out of her head.

The waitress comes to take their orders, and they both order Cokes and fries, then Allie orders six zesty lemon wings and Harry gets boneless buffalo ones.

“Did you just order boneless wings,” she asks.

“And what about it?”

“Have you ever seen that thing that says dudes who order boneless wings probably close the fridge with their hips?”

“What am I supposed to close it with, my dick,” he asks, and Allie bursts out laughing.

“Just let me eat my boneless wings in peace,” he says.

“I wasn’t judging, just making an observation,” Allie says.

“Right, and you still haven’t given me an alternative for closing the fridge,” he replies, and that only makes Allie laugh harder.

They get their food, and Harry takes one bite of a wing and immediately states that he would commit murder for one of these too. They eat in silence, too preoccupied with the wings and fries to talk. It still hasn’t really sunk in, the fact that they’re talking and joking and going to a restaurant together like a couple, even though Allie isn’t necessarily sure what they are, and she suspects Harry doesn’t either.

They finish at nearly the same time, and Harry asks for the check, then they sit there for a second, neither starting a conversation.

“Anything else you wanna do,” Allie asks.

“Maybe one thing,” he replies.

Allie is about to ask what, but she sees the glint in his eye, the way his lips turn up at the corner.

“Okay then,” Allie says. “Let’s do it.”

She barely registers the look of surprise on his face before she stands up and walks to the car. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT WARNING there is smut in this chapter! You have been warned!

Harry can’t fucking believe that Allie just said that.

He was joking. He didn’t know she likes him. Thought the opposite actually. She was always avoiding him or just making friendly conversation. Nothing that indicated that she likes him.

Well, he supposes that making friendly conversation is how you get someone to fuck you, short of actually asking them to fuck you, but he’s still so fucking surprised that Allie wants to fuck him. 

Or maybe she doesn’t just want to fuck. Maybe she wants an actual fucking relationship and that was just her playing off of his words.

Harry hopes that’s the case.

He likes Allie. A lot. And he would really love to be in a relationship with her, except that she’s a year younger than him and he doesn’t know what their relationship would be like or the logistics or anything but-

Fuck, he’s been sitting in this restaurant for like five minutes while the girl he’s thinking about is sitting in his car waiting for him. He pays the bill, then walks to the car and gets in, avoiding Allie’s gaze. He starts the car, turns the radio up, then starts driving to their house.

Their house. He’ll probably be gone in less than a week, living with whatever grandparent has been given custody of them or moving to Vegas and gambling his money away.

They arrive at the house, and he stops the car, then says, “Listen, Allie, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“I want to,” she says, meeting his eyes with an intensity he’s never seen from her before. 

“Then let’s do it,” he says, smirking, then leans over and kisses her.

Allie can’t fucking believe she just said that. All she knows is that she’s kissing Harry, and she’s never kissed anyone before, but it feels really good and she would like to continue doing it.

She twists her fingers in his hair, pulls it a little, and he makes a noise and it’s so fucking sexy Allie can’t resist doing it again.

She reaches down to grab his shirt, and he breaks the kiss and says, “Do you wanna move this inside?”

Allie sits there for a second, still reeling from the fact that they were making out like a second ago and now she’s out of breath. 

“Yeah,” she says, then gets out of the car and walks into the house. Harry follows, and when they get to the couch Allie grabs his shirt and kisses him roughly. She’s only just started doing this but she thinks she has the hang of it.

They fall on the couch, and Allie grips his shirt, starts undoing the buttons, why is he always wearing shirts with buttons goddamnit, and he pulls it off the rest of the way. He grabs hers, and she holds her arms up so he can pull it off. He looks at her chest for a second, and she arches her back a little. Fuck, this is amazing. Allie never thought she would be doing this, ever, but here she is, laying on top of Harry Bingham in just a bra and shorts.

She kisses him again, then says, “I’ve never done this before.”

“Really,” he says. “I’ve only done it a few times, not as much as the rumors would like you to believe-”

“No, I’ve never done any of this before,” she says. “That was my first kiss. In the car.”

She leans in again, but Harry puts a hand on her arm, sits upright a little.

“Are you serious,” he asks.

“Yes,” Allie says frustratedly. “Can we continue please?”

“You’re seriously okay with losing your first kiss and virginity to someone you’re not even dating,” he replies.

Now that he’s mentioned it, maybe she was a little hasty. But fuck, she really wants this. Not just the sex, even though it’s really good so far, to be  _ with  _ him.

“Do you not want this,” she asks.

“Oh fuck yes I do,” he says. “Do you mean sex or like...an actual relationship.”

“Both,” she says, then kisses him again.

He unclasps her bra, pulls it off, feasts at the sight of her, and she breaks the kiss and moves downward, licks at his neck, moves toward his dick.

“Wait,” he says. “This is your first time, not mine.”

She looks at him in confusion, and he moves from under her, positions himself so he’s crouching over her, presses a kiss to her neck.

He sucks her neck for a few seconds, then her collarbones, then her breast, rolling her other nipple with his hand. She moans, arches her back involuntarily, and he switches sides.

“This couch is kinda small,” he says as he moves down her body, pressing kisses to her abdomen and stopping above her shorts.

“Fuck,” is all she says, and she looks extremely aroused right now so Harry continues, removing her shorts, then panties after looking at her for consent.

_ Fuck  _ is all Allie can think when he presses his tongue to her sex. It feels so fucking mindblowingly good, so much better than masturbation, she can’t believe she’s lucky enough to be experiencing this.

After a few minutes of that, Harry sits up and unzips his pants, pulling them down at the same time as his underwear.

Fuck, he’s big. Allie doesn’t know if it’s gonna hurt or anything, but she’s so horny right now the thought quickly disappears.

“You ready,” he asks.

“Yes,” she says breathily.

He leans over so that he’s face to face with her, kisses her, surprisingly sweetly considering what they’re doing, then says, “Fuck, I don’t have a condom.”

“I’ll take plan b,” Allie says, then grabs his head and pulls his hair, signalling what she wants.

He enters her, and she gasps, partially because it hurts a little and partially because it feels so  _ fucking  _ good, god everything that’s happened this afternoon has been so good she can’t even describe when things are an extra level of good.

“You okay,” he asks, and she nods. 

He starts thrusting, and she feels her eyes roll back in her head from how good it is. He brings his mouth to her shoulder, sucks it a little, then does a particularly hard thrust, making Allie moan. 

They go on like that for a little bit longer, eliciting moans from each other, sucking on each other’s necks and collarbones in a way that will surely leave marks, then Allie starts to tense up.

“Harry,” she breathes. “Harry, I-”

“Fuck, me too,” he says.

A few seconds later, Allie’s body stiffens, then she’s orgasming, pleasure coursing through her body. Harry moans and does the same.

They lay there for a moment, panting and unable to do anything but stay where they are. Eventually, Harry stands up, walks into the bathroom and grabs two towels.

“I should probably pee,” Allie says, then stands up, her whole body feeling like jelly. 

She goes to the bathroom, pees, then looks at herself in the mirror as she washes her hands, processing the fact that she just had sex for the first time and ot was fucking great, better than what she’d ever imagined.

When she comes back to the living room, Harry holds out a towel, and she takes it and starts wiping herself down. He’s already put his pants back on and Allie’s slightly sad about that.

“We didn’t fuck up the couch too bad,” she says, looking at the piece of furniture they’ve had since she was ten. It has some indents but doesn’t look harmed otherwise.

Harry doesn’t say anything, just keeps looking in her direction, eyes unfocused.

“You okay,” she asks.

“You said you want to be together,” he says. “Did you mean that?”

“Of course,” she replies, walking over to sit on the couch. 

“So,” he says. “Are we dating now?”

“I think we are dating now,” she says, then smiles harder than she’s ever smiled before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost to the end...


	13. Chapter 13

On Monday morning, Karen Bingham’s will is read. She leaves half of her money to Harry to be used as soon as he turns 18, which he already has, and half of her money is going into a trust for Katie when she turns 18. She leaves the house to her sister. Katie’s new legal guardians are her maternal grandparents. Nothing else is mentioned.

As they’re leaving the courthouse, Allie says, “So. You got a lot of money now huh.”

“Yeah,” Harry replies. “I guess I do.”

They walk in silence for a few more seconds, then Allie asks, “Where are you gonna move?”

“I don’t know,” Harry says. “I was thinking California. LA or San Francisco or some shit.”

“So you are moving,” Allie says.

“Yeah,” Harry says. “Yeah I am.”

Technically they’ve been dating for one and a half days now, and neither of them is sure how it’s gonna be in the future. Allie still has another year of high school and is gonna go to some college and get a degree in communications or something easy, and Harry is gonna move to California and probably be partying every day and girls are gonna throw themselves at him and he’s gonna leave her-

“I don’t even have your number,” Harry says. 

He looks over at her, and they both start laughing. They’ve gone through all this shit and still don’t even have each other’s numbers.

“Better get it,” he says. “It would be a little hard to communicate without it.”

“We’ll send carrier pigeons,” Allie replies. “So when are you gonna move?”

“As soon as possible I guess,” he says.

A smile crosses his face.

“You still got a few weeks left of summer right,” he asks. 

“Yeah,” Allie says cautiously.

“Sounds like enough time for a road trip,” he says.

“You know what,” she says. “You’re absolutely fucking right.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now the story is over! Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
